Mark Twain's Brand of Humor

Virginia City, Nevada

Modern Day Parable

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who managed to get the most out of his computer. This had been going on for days and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. God, said "Cool it. I am going to setup a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So down they sat at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused away.
They did spreadsheets
They wrote reports
They sent faxes
They sent out e-mail
They sent out e-mail with attachments
They downloaded
They did some genealogy reports
They made cards
They did every known job.

But just a few minutes before the two hours were up, a lightning bolt flashed across the sky. The thunder rolled and the rains came down hard. And, of course, the electricity went off. Satan was furious. He fumed and fussed and he ranted and raved. All to no avail. The electricity stayed off.

But, after a bit, the rains stopped and the electricity came back on. Satan screamed "I lost it all when the power went off. What am I going to do? What happened to Jesus' work?"

Jesus just sat and smiled. Again Satan asked about the work that Jesus had done. As Jesus turned his computer back on, the screen glowed and when he pushed "print," it was all there. "How did he do it?" Satan asked.

God smiled and said, "Jesus Saves."

Professor Erik Moldrup, Senior Lecturer, Aalborg, Denmark, sent us the above email which was forwarded to him by Erik Becker. He also sent us the following humorous forward. Another "humorous" commentary on the "harmonization" of language in Europe was also sent by Prof. Moldrup.

Had Too Much of the 90s?

a small Test of Truisms

You tried to enter your password on the microwave

You now think of espressos as "getting wasted"

You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years

You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three

You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"

Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site

You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor this year

You didn't give your Valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page

Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play

You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea

You check your blow dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant

Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail Inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver

You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home

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